Am unpacking from Maine and have still not found my panties and can only hope the movers did not hang them around on the doorknobs and light bulbs.  I brought my little swinging solar parrot and he has been as still as a statue.  Gee, I love this place.  Does anyone have a recommendation for one of those vitamin D lamps that you can put on your desk please?  I have sparklies all over but nothing to sparkle them unless I want to run the electric bill way high.  Someone told me to go to a tanning booth but I have heard that they are dangerous.

I’ve had encouragement up the kazu from my friends on FACEBOOK.  Although I keep hearing negative things about making friends there, I’ve yet to find one.  Perhaps it’s because they are dog people.  Anyway, thank you because I have none here.  It is way to close to my family.

Sometimes I think what would have happened if the pills had worked.  I must be a female hunk not to have two filled to the brim valium and half of sleeping pills not work for three hours.  Tina says I would have gone into a coma or become paralyzed.  I’ll have to look it up.  Perhaps she is trying to get me not to do it again. (as if I’ll ever be able to get any again.)

My tendenitis and cyst hurt so badly that the psychiatrist is trying out an antidepressant that is mixed with a pain pill.  I think that will be the most.  Perhaps I’ll have to turn Native American and scrape willow trees.

Since my “non accident” I have found very few people that treat me like a person.  That meet my eyes and ask “how are you”, that do not think that I did it as a cry for attention (I did not), that even call or drop a note.  I think I am in the lower caste now of the population and this from outcasts themselves, from family that regardless what I had done should have been concerned that I had come that come to death.  I’m sorry but I seem to be only finding more and more disgusting behavior from people that I know.

Please hope that I can meet some people that pull me back on my feet and help me walk again.